Us Aussies love a laugh, even when in the most serious of situations, and there’s nothing quite like Aussie humour!
Some of the most hilarious comedians and comedy shows are Aussie, including Carl Barron, Adam Hills, and Jane Turner and Gina Riley (the creators of Kath and Kim), so we feel perfectly equipped to declare ourselves an authority on what’s funny!
And while we take safety super seriously here at OHS Compliance Solutions, nothing gets us through a long workday like a good giggle!
We also have it on good authority that tradies spend a good portion of the day joking around between jobs (when they aren’t focusing on health and safety, of course!).
We’ve looked around and found some of the funniest gems to keep you chuckling through the workday.
So, sit back with a cuppa and get ready for some belly laughs!
What do tradies do at parties?
They raise the roof!
Why did the brickie get away with murder?
There was no concrete evidence.
Have you heard my under construction joke?
I’ll tell you soon- it’s not done yet.
How many sparkies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three- one to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder he’s standing on.
I watched a doco about how they fix steelwork together last night.
Why is Christmas Day just like a construction site?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit takes all the credit!
I went to Bunnings yesterday and asked where I could find some hammers, nails, a trowel, and a bag of cement. “They’re all under construction”, said the staff member.
“Okay,” I said. ” Where will they be when they’re finished?”
I’m working on a joke about road construction.
Just give me a few months to lay it all out.
What music do tradies listen to?
The Carpenters and Nine Inch Nails!
Why don’t drills have any friends?
Because they’re always boring!
My boss asked me to attach two pieces of wood together.
I nailed it!
Did you hear the amazing story of the blind tradie?
He picked up a hammer and saw.
A carpenter accidentally sawed off his left hand.
The doctors said he will be all right.
If you’re a tradie and need to up your comedy game, these one-liners will come in super handy!
Best delivered with a completely straight face, these are sure to have your colleagues snorting into their coffee during smoko!
- Out of all modern construction tools, I think the shovel is the most groundbreaking.
- I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning, but I had to turn it down because it turned out to be a pyramid scheme.
- An electrician is a bright spark who knows what’s watt.
- Old sparkies never die, they just keep plugging away.
- I have a friend who drives a steamroller. He’s a great guy but he’s such a flatterer.
If you’re new to the tradie game and don’t recognise all the jargon in these funnies, check out our post teaching you how to talk like a tradie.
In the meantime, strap yourself in for the last of these tradie ticklers!
So, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that, deep down, Andy was a good person,so he made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.
After three years, Andy was recognised as one of the best carpenters in the local area.
He was so good that he’d often be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the local people of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and had already done much of the work himself.
But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large countertop, which he had promised his wife.
So, he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused.
He told the warden, “Gosh, I’d really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.”
We really hope you enjoyed these jokes, but as you know, our usual game is all about health and safety.
Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org for a chat about all of your safety document needs.